You know what’s even more absurd than a man pooping all over the city of Portland? This camera angle. What absolute psychopath walks up behind the Portland Pooper and snaps a picture like this? This man seemingly has zero regard for where and when he poops and what he poops on, and you’re sneaking up behind him mid-poop? What are you nuts? That’s fucking reckless. What’d you do next, scoop up his poop with you bare hand to have it DNA tested? Not even the idea of pooping all over the city of Portland is more insane than sneaking up behind the man who’s pooping all over the city of Portland. Yeah I’m sure it sucks to occasionally step in one of the many poop logs all over your city. But you know what sucks more? Having a poop bandit shart all over you and your iPhone 6.
P.S. Hi I’m Ham, I run a small business.