Back when I was first starting this blog, I compared Suge Knight to Robert Durst. At first glance that seems like an outrageous comparison. I mean look at them:
But then you start to think about it. Both got rich off of other people’s talents and work. Both big fans of domestic violence. Both also big fans of Murder, can’t forget that one. Both killed their best friend. Both are universally feared as the last person you would ever want to be alone with. And both are so far past the Tyson Zone that you’d believe ANYTHING you hear about them. Because you can’t possibly tell me that you’d be surprised to hear Suge Knight injected Easy E with AIDS. The same way that you wouldn’t be shocked to hear that Robert Durst figured out a way to give his brother Cancer. These guys are the biggest wildcards since… well probably since Mike Tyson himself.
And yeah Suge probably just referenced Easy E there as a joke, but the fact that it’s not out of the question to see him injecting Easy E with an AIDS needle pretty much says everything you need to know about Suge Knight.
Come to Death Row Records, where the CEO won’t be dancing all up in the videos but he actually might inject you with an AIDS Needle to kill you
As for nowadays, the last we heard from Suge Knight, he was slowly losing his mind in a Prison Cell because some Evil Comedic Genius was making Suge’s toilet flush every twenty minutes. I don’t actually have an update on Suge, just letting you know that’s the last I heard of him. Guess he stopped responding to my fan mail. I can only hope that Suge is still sitting there, a broken and sleep deprived man, freaking out every twenty minutes as the toilet refuses to stop flushing. I hope his face is still this sad, just with bigger bags under his eyes. Basically what I’m hoping is that Suge is on the verge of killing himself, but is too weak from sleep deprivation to actually pull it off. Yeah I know that’s dark, but this is Suge Knight we’re talking about, not an actual human being. Hey Suge…