via Gawker — Kravitz performed to an audience of thousands of cheering fans at Stockholm’s biggest theme park – Gröna Lund – on Monday night. And the rock legend, who is not known for pulling any punches on stage, went all in to offer his Swedish audience the whole package. Yes, the whole package. For as Kravitz crouched down in a laws-of-physics-defying way right at the start of the energetic performance, he managed to split his leather outfit at crotch level – leaving the artist with a gaping hole in his trousers.
And if there was one thing we did not know about the 51-year-old artist before that we know now – it is that he does not wear underwear. Let’s just say the audience went nuts. After leaving the stage for several minutes, the rocker reappeared in a new pair of trousers. And that’s how you crack into the history books, folks.
“The producer stepped up and said that they had ‘some problems on stage’. A bit later Kravitz came out wearing other trousers. He said ‘sorry, I ripped my trousers’,” a member of the audience, named only as Sara, told the Expressen tabloid after the show.
On their own, the act of wearing leather pants and the act of going commando are both insane moves. Just the idea of having tight, hot leather pants confining your legs sounds absolutely miserable. Plus you look like an asshole wearing leather pants. And equally crazy is the idea of letting you junk just swing free in a pair of jeans when you’re out in a social setting. Who the fuck likes their dick just rubbing against the inside of some jeans you probably haven’t washed in months? And what about the threat of getting pubes caught in the zipper, or the fact that your balls just smell fucking awful? Miserable all around.
Well what happens when you combine them? When you go commando IN leather pants. That is some straight up crazy person shit. You have to give absolutely zero fucks about comfort. Absolutely none. Because having my bare dick and balls rubbing against hot, sticky leather sounds like quite possibly the worst thing in the world. I’m cringing just thinking about it. And the more I think about this, I bet Lenny let his pants rip on purpose just to let that dick breathe. And also probably to show every groupie what kind of black jewish heat he was packing. That doesn’t hurt either. Anyways, click here if you want to check out Lenny’s dick.
UPDATE: So I guess Lenny is wearing a cock ring too. Guess that one just slipped by you boy Ham. You want to know what’s even more outrageous than going commando in leather pants… going commando in leather pants with a fucking cock ring on while you’re performing in front of millions of people. Absurd.
P.S. Hey Lenny if you want to hide that dick next time just wear your outrageous scarf.
P.P.S. One of the funniest things I’ve hear this week is the observation that there are no ugly mixed-race babies. Just get two pretty average looking people of different races and they’re gonna produce a hot kid. Think about it… Halle Barry, Derek Jeter, Jessica Alba, Lenny Kravitz, Ciara, The Rock, Olivia Munn, Rashida Jones the list goes on. And sure I only just named celebrities, but I now 100% buy into this theory.