@nymag — So far, 46 women have come forward to accuse Bill Cosby of sexual assault, in some cases, according to a recently unsealed deposition, with the aid of quaaludes—a powerful sedative that can render a person functionally immobile. But these allegations are by no means new, with some stretching back decades—to a time when the culture of rape in America left victims little recourse but to suffer silently, and in shame. Today, the way we think and talk about rape has evolved, creating a safer space for survivors to feel empowered by speaking up and reclaiming their victimhood. And that’s led us here. Of the 46 women who have come forward to accuse Cosby, we spoke to 35 of them — “a sorrowful sisterhood” of women united by their dark experiences, steadfast in their resolve to remain silent no more. Read more: nymag.com/cosby-women. 📷: Amanda Demme
So the hottest take on the internet streets these days is that Bill Cosby will be dead by this weekend. After this New York Magazine Story, where 35 of his victims appear on the cover (thirty five!), the overwhelming belief is that Jello Bill ain’t long for this world. It’s the whole idea that when a major occurrence (read: scandal) happens to an old man, his feeble old man heart just can’t take it. Most recently, and famously, it was old Joe Paterno when we all found out that he knowingly allowed his defensive coordinator to run a child rape camp that doubled as a charity. Within a few months he was dead, avoiding what would have been months and months of having his name (deservedly) dragged though the mud.
It makes sense that one’s heart can’t handle that stress. I’m 23 and my heart can barely take a Week 7 Giants-Cowboys game. I’d imagine having an entire football roster of women outing you as a serial rapist or a grad assistant outing you as the conduit for a child molester would probably take a tole on your 70+ year old heart. So there’s good reason to think Bill Cosby might kick the bucket by Friday.
Well I don’t think he’s getting that same mercy.
In fact, I think the jello man will live through all of this. Everyone and their mother thinks Bill Cosby is going to die soon. People hopping on Twitter guaranteeing his death by Friday. It’s basically considered a lock.
Well one thing your boy Ham likes to ask is, “What’s The Action?”
Because when there is this much Action on one side of a bet, that’s a red flag. You never bet with the public when this many people are on one side. Never. There’s a reason they’re still building casinos in Vegas*. If you even see 60% on one side it’s a red flag. And right now I think 80% of the public would bet Cosby is dead in a month. Always bet the dog in those situations.
*I know they can’t technically set odds on when someone will die because, you know, murder is still a thing. But like, can’t they make an exception for Cosby?
Bill Cosby is going to live through this entire process. He’s going to get dragged all the way through the mud, and still be alive to get dragged all the way back. And you know what? I think he gets dragged through it a third time just for kicks. Because if there is such thing as karma, Bill Cosby is going to live through and remember Every. Single. Detail. of his fall from grace. So stock up on those pudding pops, Billy boy. You’re not going anywhere soon. Except to jail. You could totally go there.
P.S. You know who will die very soon though? The Hulkster. Dead by the 2016 NBA Finals. Book it.