The Knicks Making All Their Players Sign on The World’s Smallest Table is So Knicks

by Ham… follow on Twitter @yourboyham11

So Knicks. Soooooo Knicks. Just can’t do anything right. Is that table even a full foot off the ground? Seriously what the fuck are you doing Knicks? Robin Lopez is going to slip a disk before he can even finish Connecting The Dots of his signature


You know what, I bet it was that Ewok James Dolan’s idea. That fat little five foot three inch motherfucker probably did this to bring everyone down to his level. One of those absurd power trips. Like the reverse of when the tall kid sets the microphone up too high or brings over a stepping stool for the little guy, which definitely still happens to the Dolan all the time. So this is his revenge to all the normal sized people out there.


jedins återkomst originaltitel return of the jedi warwick davis spelade en ewoker

NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 18:  James Dolan, L, Executive Chairman of Madison Square Garden, stands with Phil Jackson during the press conference to announce Jackson as President of the New York Knicks at Madison Square Garden on March 18, 2014 in New York City.  (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images) ORG XMIT: 479324037 ORIG FILE ID: 479367961

Except THESE AREN’T NORMAL SIZED PEOPLE! These are god damn GIANTS. Seven foot giants. It’s hard enough for them to sit at a normal table, let alone one that doesn’t reach the middle of their shins. But does James Dolan consider that? Nope. Instead, this tiny, insecure Ewok is making these players hyperextend their backs in order to sign away their lives to the worst franchise in all of sports. Fucking Dolan, man. Wonder if he gave them his latest Demo Track on the way out…


Anyways, welcome to the squad #WeirdestCollectionOfFreeAgentsEver. Glad to have you on board this sinking ship.



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