by Ham… follow on Twitter @yourboyham11
It’s days like today where you really question yourself as a human being. You think you’re a good person, that you live a relatively respectable life. And then all of a sudden it’s 4:15am on July 4th and you’re sitting on the dance floor of The Drift pouring full beers on yourself screaming along to Proud to be an American and you realize that at the end of the day, you’re just a fat idiot who’s going to be hungover until Thursday. So you spend the next 48 hours questioning your life. You try to work out, maybe go for a shvitz, start that diet, and tell yourself that you won’t be a fucking lunatic this upcoming weekend. Flash forward to next Sunday Night and you’re back in the same exact spot driving back from Long Island trying to fend off the Sunday Scaries. Good job, good effort this weekend Ham, you fucking idiot.
P.S. I went out to get coffee this morning and “How Bout Now” by Drake came on the radio. He kept telling me that he was up right now, and that I suck right now. So like any rational human being I started yelling at my car radio telling Drake to shut up. I’m not saying I want to be Truman Show’d. But theoretically if I was being Truman Show’d, the sight of a 23-year-old hungover mess literally screaming “SHUT UP! I DON’T NEED YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW DRAKE” at his car radio would really be something.